no lies, just love.

Conor Oberst- a beautiful man with bright eyes and dark words. His sonnets held my hand through the best and, more significantly, the worst of times... They offered a friend when mine had all turned their backs, sanity when my I feared my mind was lost, emotion when I believed all hearts were actually made of stone- and most importantly, words I could relate to, words that made me feel less alone. His soft verses also aided in the celebration of life and love, rather than merely the loss of hope in them. His melodies healed.

Ever since my discovery of Bright Eyes, Conor Oberst has been my idol, somehow always managing to siphon his heart onto that paper. He is a man with enough courage to put his heart to music, allowing the world to put a stethoscope to his chest everytime headphones were donned-- it proves that actually being genuine and truly embracing emotion can take you far, eh? Unlike quite a few men I know.

Anyway, the fact that I was in the same room as this beautiful artist last night was enough reason for my stomach to brim with butterflies. But as soon as Mr. Oberst began his two hour set I didn't know what to do with myself. I felt like I had been tossed into the smoky seventies witnessing a Johnny Cash performance. Conor used his newest project, Conor Oberst and the Mystic Valley Band, to blend his carefully constructed verses, delicately strung together into harmony, with the acoustic twang of the Mystic Valley Band, named after the Mexican mountain valley the band lived and recorded in for a month.

I'm no music critic, but I can surely tell you that the haunting voice Conor is known for paired with the new music style he has embraced is definitely a beautiful couple. He will never write a song that doesn't take my breath away- just by the utter perfection of the metaphors, stories, emotions... the mystery. It is the deepest of poetry set to tunes you can dance to. What more could you ask for in a musician?

End of my obsessive rant ;)

dusk & dawn.

Photo by Chris Ramos; apparently the ocean does wonders for his mind at 5am as well.

It's all going to work itself out, right? I suppose I should be doing Kriya rather than burying deeper into my bed today... trying to make the best of the day rather than accepting the early consensus that it would just be "one of those." But they say you are to give your 100% no matter what it is you're doing, so I'm giving my 100% to being gloomy today.

I'm forcing words because my mind has been boycotting them lately. A heart and soul's longing to create is a terrible thing when the body and mind are incapable of anything beyond the craving for ice cream and a sappy movie.

The doubts are nibbling at my mind- maybe I'm not meant for this whole college thing? Eight to three every Monday, Wednesday, Friday; Work ten to five every Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday, Sunday. It's all so mundane... so planned out. Wheres the excitement? How do you fit spontaneity into your schedule?

The four blue walls I was going to miss the most when leaving home are now the last four things I'd like to see right now. Can't I just run away right now? Fly to India or the Peace Corps or even just New York? Can't I see the world yet? Why am I being held back by the one thing I despise most? Money. Always. My eighteenth birthday was supposed to grant me the wings to begin to do something with my life- to escape these walls and devote my body and soul to making a difference.. Unfortunately, it merely granted me a new set of larger walls to commute forty minutes to for four more years. Then will I be free? Or just even more in debt..?

ring around the moon

I decided to spend my first full day off in who knows how long with what I love most- the ocean.

The waves always manage to clear my head. I realized that the more time I spend alone, the more I notice not only aspects of myself, but the world I am a part of. Maybe this is yet another positive result of the Yes+ course. Awareness of more than just breath.. (I'm such a damn cheerleader)

I watched a five year old boy tear it up on his minature, foam surfboard (fins and all) as the swells built. He caught more waves than the skimmers who spent most of their energy talkin smack about the man obviously in the midst of his mid life crisis, just trying to prove he can still work a board like the 20 year olds. It took a lot to not smack their sandcaked, smirking faces and tell them to get a life- or a real sport. Ouch.

Anyway, welcome to my blogspot! I've been devoted to livejournal for four years and three different journals, all friends only however. But, thanks to a newfound friend's suggestion, I have adopted blogspot as yet another place to spill my mind- and this time for all the world to see. I always have more than enough words to share, anyway.

My name is Lindsey. They say my heart beats too big, that I care too much, that I carry the world on my shoulders. But I've realized this might not be so bad after all. I plan to devote my life to teaching the message of the Art of Living, to helping the world find peace. I'm a vegetarian, writer, surfer, dreamer. I'm terrible at describing myself. You'll figure it out in time.

There's rings on the moon tonight. Legends say it's a sign of rain or cold. Scientists say that is partially true. My mom says it's a sign of something bad to come.