Saturday, November 15, 2008
no lies, just love.
Thursday, November 13, 2008
dusk & dawn.
It's all going to work itself out, right? I suppose I should be doing Kriya rather than burying deeper into my bed today... trying to make the best of the day rather than accepting the early consensus that it would just be "one of those." But they say you are to give your 100% no matter what it is you're doing, so I'm giving my 100% to being gloomy today.
I'm forcing words because my mind has been boycotting them lately. A heart and soul's longing to create is a terrible thing when the body and mind are incapable of anything beyond the craving for ice cream and a sappy movie.
The doubts are nibbling at my mind- maybe I'm not meant for this whole college thing? Eight to three every Monday, Wednesday, Friday; Work ten to five every Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday, Sunday. It's all so mundane... so planned out. Wheres the excitement? How do you fit spontaneity into your schedule?
The four blue walls I was going to miss the most when leaving home are now the last four things I'd like to see right now. Can't I just run away right now? Fly to India or the Peace Corps or even just New York? Can't I see the world yet? Why am I being held back by the one thing I despise most? Money. Always. My eighteenth birthday was supposed to grant me the wings to begin to do something with my life- to escape these walls and devote my body and soul to making a difference.. Unfortunately, it merely granted me a new set of larger walls to commute forty minutes to for four more years. Then will I be free? Or just even more in debt..?
Sunday, November 9, 2008
ring around the moon
The waves always manage to clear my head. I realized that the more time I spend alone, the more I notice not only aspects of myself, but the world I am a part of. Maybe this is yet another positive result of the Yes+ course. Awareness of more than just breath.. (I'm such a damn cheerleader)
I watched a five year old boy tear it up on his minature, foam surfboard (fins and all) as the swells built. He caught more waves than the skimmers who spent most of their energy talkin smack about the man obviously in the midst of his mid life crisis, just trying to prove he can still work a board like the 20 year olds. It took a lot to not smack their sandcaked, smirking faces and tell them to get a life- or a real sport. Ouch.
Anyway, welcome to my blogspot! I've been devoted to livejournal for four years and three different journals, all friends only however. But, thanks to a newfound friend's suggestion, I have adopted blogspot as yet another place to spill my mind- and this time for all the world to see. I always have more than enough words to share, anyway.
My name is Lindsey. They say my heart beats too big, that I care too much, that I carry the world on my shoulders. But I've realized this might not be so bad after all. I plan to devote my life to teaching the message of the Art of Living, to helping the world find peace. I'm a vegetarian, writer, surfer, dreamer. I'm terrible at describing myself. You'll figure it out in time.
There's rings on the moon tonight. Legends say it's a sign of rain or cold. Scientists say that is partially true. My mom says it's a sign of something bad to come.